SECURE, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — Have you seen the paper? It's back!
Toilet paper, that is.
Yes, the in-store supply is still fickle, but you are far more likely to find bathroom tissue at Walmart or your nearest grocery than you were mid-March. And now there is enough that you can now order a limited selection of the white stuff online from some retailers.
We did so at Walmart.com last week and got our shipment today with two full packs of the elusive Angel Soft. And not those dinky four-roll packs, either. We ordered the ones with 18 mega rolls, each with 425+ sheets. The Georgia-Pacific subsidiary boasts these rolls are "Our THICKEST Ever!"
I am now living in luxury.
Not a look-at-my-mummy-costume level of ritz, mind you, but I am more than comfortable and no longer need to fear that a fast-food taco or my own cooking will unravel my slim supply.
Yes, our long national nightmare is over. Just in time for businesses, which have remained flush with toilet paper, to reopen.