Dear Aunty Pam: Well, it’s that time of year again when my next-door neighbor brings me big bags of tomatoes and peppers every week.

The problem is, I HAVE MY OWN VEGETABLE GARDEN AND I HATE PEPPERS. Every year I point this out to him and every year he says, “Well, you can give them to your friends.” That’s not all — every fall he comes and gives us a big old mason jar full of moonshine. We don’t drink that stuff!

He’s a sweet older gentleman and we’ve been neighbors for years. I don’t want to alienate him or hurt his feelings but I’m at my wit’s end.

Any ideas?


Dear Perplexed:Aunty Pam had a good giggle at this one as I’ve also been on the receiving end of veggie deliveries, regardless of the fact that people have to walk directly past our garden plot on the way to the front door. We have so much produce that even our visiting deer herd has become obese.

I think you have two options. Probably three, but it’s late and I decided that this month would be “Dry July” for me, so without my nightly tipple, I’m afraid I’m not as creative.

No. 1: Call your local food pantry/church pantry and see if they will accept fresh produce.

No. 2: Beat your neighbor at his own game. Plant early and take an enormous box of ‘maters, squash and what have you to his front porch. Tell him just what he told you if he doesn’t want it — that he can give it to his friends.

Finally, for heaven’s sake, keep that moonshine! It’s great for clearing drain clogs.

Cheers, dear!

Aunty Pam

Comedian Pam Stone can be reached at