There are moments in everyone’s life when they realize they aren’t as young as they once were. Yes, we are older with every passing second, but saying the lines “back in the day” and “when I was your age” seem to be everyday vernacular in my world.

Can we be friends?

If I don’t make it to heaven, I will spend eternity in a Home Depot.

They say bad things happen in threes so I can relax as nothing can trump what has been a less than stellar week.

I have learned to live appreciatively in an apartment for the past five months. There are some real positives, such as low maintenance with my being on the road so much, decent neighbors and very low power and water bills.

Like many of you, I am watching “Cobra Kai Season 5” on Netflix.

We live on one of the seven continents here on planet Earth. North America is visited by millions of tourists each year.

As a writer, one of the most difficult tasks is figuring out where that fine line is between what is appropriate to share and what I need to keep to myself.

Here I am sitting in my room at the lovely Belmont Inn in Abbeville, South Carolina. It seems like this place is a haven for a writer who experiences something different every time I’m here.

This day, the day I’m writing this column would have been the 100th birthday of my dear Grandpa Dave who died at the age of 92 years old.

I am in my 40s and yes, I love good nostalgia. I am a sucker for ‘80s music, movies and even some of the fashion is fun to wear from time to time.

Yesterday, I received a voicemail that I get frequently. It was my mother and the message left, sounding like she was almost in tears, “Please call me right away” and then click, that is the end of it.

There I was enjoying a Saturday of football when my day took a turn. When I tell you what soured my day, you will realize (if as a reader of my column, you haven’t already) that I am a deeply disturbed person as I get hung up on details in life that the average person pays absolutely no atte…

September is here. People love the Fall season. Football season, leaves changing, the best weather of the year, and finally the kids are out of the house and going back to school; ahh yes, to me the most wonderful time of the year.

Please say it isn’t so. Yes, folks. There is a shortage of chicken wings.

At 14 years old, my son decided he was ready for our first daddy/son trip. I asked him if he wanted to help me plan it or did he want it to be a surprise. He chose the surprise route and instantly I remembered how he said some years back he wanted to see the Statue of Liberty. So, off to New…

As a comedian, I get asked a lot, “Who are some of your favorite comedians?”

Being on the road a minimum of 10 days a month can be tough.

My debut comedy album “My Demons Come Out on Stage” was released in May and as of June 1, it hit the Amazon online store.

This is a column unlike any you have read or I have published. I am doing an experiment to see how many of my friends and family who say they read my column actually read my column. Everyone says they read my column, but it seems like they have no idea what I am talking about when I mention one.

Google states that 96.7% of all Americans have television sets. As we all have families, at some point in your life, you have had a debate about what to watch on television.

So yes, the vaccine has been made available to millions of Americans. I have friends who refuse to get vaccinated as it is a form of alien life form-related brainwashing and I have some that think that the apocalypse is coming tomorrow and anyone who is not vaccinated by midnight tonight sho…

My name is Mike Elis and I’m a workaholic.

Every year around this time, the Academy Awards comes up and as I don’t ever go to the movies, I haven’t heard of most of the films that are nominated. And every year, they seem to add award categories that make one wonder how they fill such a specific genre with enough nominees.

Every day, I scroll Facebook and it has gotten to the point where I read it and prepare myself, “Okay, what is being canceled or done away with today due to the cancel culture?”