How about a little levity with some puns?
In case you are wondering, the dictionary defines a pun as the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to aemphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or near alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.
Some of the following puns are more “P-U” than “P-U-N.”
1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put it down.
2. When chemists die, they barium.
3. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
5. I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
6. Broken pencils are pointless.
7. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
8. I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
10. I’m glad to know sign language. It’s pretty handy.
11. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. And finally, there was the person who sent 12 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of them would make them laugh. No pun in 10 did.
I warned you that they were bad!
C.P.S. (Curious Postscript): You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins. — Mae West