Judi. Miss Judi. Momma. Mrs. Burns.

“Don’t do it,” Wendy begged. “You’ll just make an ass of yourself.”

Fifty years ago, the phrase “I love you to the moon and back” sort of took on new meaning.

It was hot outside this past weekend in Uptown Greenwood. One source of relief was to climb into the dunking booth set up by Sunny 103.5 and let people attempt to send you into the water tank below, all while collecting dollars for the Humane Society of Greenwood.

Angelle LaBorde of Greenwood SC Chamber fame might say I gush too much about the upcoming festival and don’t give enough credit to the S.C. Festival of Flowers, a 52-year tradition that is interspersed throughout the month of June. Actually, it now spills into July, but that’s not the point.

We live on the north side of Greenwood County, mainly so we don’t have to pay city taxes for City Manager Julie Wilkie to wield.

No rush for 2019 to come to an end, but 2020 looks like it’s going to be a fun year. That is, if you’re one of those election year sadomasochists.

Old versus new. Traditional versus modern. Which are you?

Heard any good “how hot is it” jokes?

It’s Mother’s Day, so that means it’s time to spend some money. Right, guys?

It’s spring, and you know what that means. It means love is in the air? Well, sure. There is that. But there is music in the air.

Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

Thank you, readers, and please forgive what might seem as if we are bragging with today’s story at the bottom of the front page.

Al Gore? Not so much. Herb Alpert? Cool. Gabe Kaplan? Yes — I even have his autograph after a chance meeting in a Rockland, Maine restaurant. Rhea Perlman? Funny woman. Great role in “Cheers.” Shirley Jones? Yeah.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

While everyone else has been busy talking about possible increased property taxes in Greenwood, both city and county, a co-worker and I got into a discussion about fast-food restaurants.

Remember the August 2017 solar eclipse that carved a path through South Carolina? Bright daylight gave way to shadows, which then gave way to total darkness. Within minutes, of course, a summer day was again put into the sun’s bright light.

A piece of mail arrived the other day and what a great surprise it contained.