Good morning, and thank you for trusting IJ Air, which has served readers for 101 years, with your reading needs. This is your captain speaking and welcome aboard Flight 1919. Today’s forecast calls for mostly clear skies, although we may experience some turbulence when reading certain stories as well as when we get into the cumulus Viewpoints pages. We will be taking off through the pages of the paper shortly, but first we have a few important announcements to make. Please now pay attention to your newspaper flight attendant.
Good morning. As the captain said, I’ll be giving you some safety instructions before we begin taxiing through the paper ahead of takeoff.
For your pleasure and edification, IJ Air has installed a number of news, sports and feature stories. Today’s flight also contains not one, but two special pages. As a safety measure, IJ Air has labeled those “Viewpoints” and “Insights & Outlooks.”
When we are traveling through these pages, we ask that you keep your seat belt fastened. The captain will keep the seat belt light on as a reminder. It is on these pages where some passengers might experience the greater effects of turbulence.
Some passengers have been known to experience sickness. Sorry, but because of trying economic times IJ Air is unable to provide passengers those bags you were once accustomed to, so we recommend you get your own at the ready.
Other passengers have gone back and forth, between feeling sick and feeling quite fine, depending on what they are reading. Most, however, can and should do just fine because they understand that while flying through these pages they might read something they disagree with or that disagrees with them, but for the most part, they can stomach the turbulence. They have even found they can experience a bit of relief by sharing an opposing view or commentary shortly after landing.
Please remember that we are all on this flight together. We should respect each other’s views while in flight. If, however, the turbulence you experience is too great to stomach you can move to another opinion that better suits your viewpoint. But please move about the pages carefully.
At this time, I’d also like to remind you that the captain also has an opinion shared on this page. He fully realizes and understands not all passengers will agree with his opinion, but he should be able to pilot his to a safe landing right along with yours and the opinions of others shared on these pages.
Again, thank you for using IJ Air, where you are like family. We might not always agree, but we still love and respect you.