Latest Columns

The last few days have been something like an episode of ‘Wild Kingdom’ here at the Funny Farm. Or, to be more precise, shall I say, “Mild Kingdom,” as there’s been no Rhino ear- tagging by the hapless Jim, his weekly suicide mission dictated by Marlin Perkins, from the comfort of a voice-ov…

Dear Aunty Pam: I live in a rural area in NC and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in my area that wears a mask. I take this virus very seriously because I’m in my early 50s and am the sole caregiver for my parents, who are both in their 80s. I want them to be around as long as possible…

Evidently, our omnipresent red clay just ain’t good enough, and so we are now importing dust. A 4,000-mile-long plume, whipped up by storms across the Saharan desert, visible from space, is now heading to the Southeastern coast of the U.S. The particles, flung high into the atmosphere, are s…

DEAR AUNTY PAM: I’m not going to use my real name, and please don’t say where I’m from, but I am about done with my husband. I’m tired of trying to have any sort of meaningful conversation with him, just to be ignored or hear him grunt while he’s looking at his phone, and I’m tired of him no…

For the life of me, I can’t imagine how it would feel to have the street directly in front of my driveway, along with our farm’s sign and even nearby street signs, defaced with obscene and intimidating language designed to torment my family. And yet that is what happened last weekend to a co…

DEAR AUNTY PAM: I’m a single guy, in my late 30s, and I tend to go out with girls I meet online.

Remember how, when we were little kids, many of us wanted to grow up to become astronauts? Then life happens and safer, earthborne options seem more obtainable: law school, nursing, teaching, engineering…stand-up comedy.

DEAR AUNTY PAM: I’ve been going out with J for nearly two years now and we get along great. We’re both in our late 20s and enjoy doing a lot of things together: hiking, running, sushi!

You might have seen the charming video making the rounds of a senior English clergyman — Robert Willis, the dean of Canterbury, actually — delivering his online morning prayer from a place we Anglophiles cherish: his outdoor garden, on a stout wooden chair, cup of tea (with saucer!) at his s…

Dear Aunty Pam: I read your column last week about the husband who was overweight, diabetic and upset that his wife went to the hair salon because he thought she might end up exposing him to the virus. My husband isn’t either of those things but he does have COPD and after reading your colum…

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Every time it rains this hard my mind flits back to the early ‘90s when Paul, in the first blush of our relationship and also probably eager to get me to shut up, agreed to taking a horseback riding vacation through the southwest area of Ireland.

It’s odd, isn’t it, that truism that “celebrities die in threes,” as recently, we’ve witnessed the passing of three greats within the entertainment industry: comedian Jerry Stiller, Roy Horn, of Siegfried and Roy, and the iconic Little Richard.

I am a divorced woman, mother of an adult child, and have been on my own for quite some time. In my past, I have known a man who I’ve admired, and yes, felt attracted to. John has sort of flitted back and forth into my life for years. He’s a decade older than me but still looks slim, athleti…

DEAR AUNTY PAM: I am in my 70s and my husband is in the memory care wing of a nearby Assisted Living facility because he has Alzheimer’s. Some days he recognizes me and some days he doesn’t, and I visit him nearly every day to check and make sure his care is as it should be, and because I love him.